Same Information, Different Relationship

The information doesn't change you. Your relationship to it changes everything.

I SUCK

Your glutes didn't fire properly during that deadlift.
You didn’t go as heavy as you’d liked.

You were leaning back on the swing.
Your hip snap was not as good as it could’ve been.

You huffed and puffed your way around the streets for 30 minutes.
You barely ran 4 kilometres.
You feel gassed out.
You were once running 10k in under an hour and could’ve run 10k more.

---

That's just data.
But how you relate to that data determines whether it builds you up or tears you down.

Are you going to criticise yourself? Are you going to keep beating yourself up?

Photo by Fitsum Admasu on Unsplash

What’s your self-talk like?
How do you recognise the information that’s being shared with you?

Here's how to transform any piece of information from destructive to constructive:

Step 1: Recognise the Information is Neutral

Stop treating feedback like a verdict on your character.

Your rep wasn't perfect?
That's information, not identity.

Your boss wants you to improve something?
That's data, not damnation.

The facts are just facts—they carry no emotional weight until you assign it.

And c’mon, AI does not own em dashes. Humans can use them too!!!! And have been using them from before.

An em dash (—) is a punctuation mark used to create a strong break in a sentence, often replacing commas, parentheses, or colons. It can emphasize information, indicate interruptions, or set off parenthetical elements without the need for additional punctuation

Step 2: Choose Your Relationship

You get to decide what the information means.

Relationship 1 turns every piece of feedback into evidence that you're failing.

Relationship 2 turns the same feedback into intel for getting better.

Same information.
Different lens.
Different outcome.

Step 3: Practice the Reframe in Real Time

When you hear* "you forgot to squeeze your glutes," pause.

Don't let your mind jump to "I'm sloppy."
Instead, think "cool, let's try 7/10 next set."

When someone says "your presentation needs work,"
don't spiral into "I'm bad at this."
Try "good intel for next time."

* from your own voice inside the head or your coach (although a coach would use better cues but let’s ignore that.)

Photo by Paul Skorupskas on Unsplash

Why This Changes Everything

First, it removes the emotional sting.
Information stops feeling like an attack when you stop taking it personally. The same feedback that used to ruin your day becomes neutral data you can actually use.

Second, it makes you coachable.
People who relate to feedback as information improve faster than people who relate to it as judgment. You become someone who can hear hard truths without breaking.

Third, it builds resilience everywhere.
The gym is just practice.
When you can hear "Your hinge can be deeper. And oh, squeeze those glutes" as coaching instead of criticism, you can hear "your relationship needs work" the same way. Or "your project missed the mark."
Or any other difficult truth.

Your next piece of feedback is coming whether you want it or not.
The information will be what it is.
But your relationship to it?
That's entirely up to you.