The Ego That Keeps You From Getting Results
Little and often over the long haul, as Coach Dan John says
They used to do 20+ pushups. Do swings with 32 kgs. Run 5Ks and 10Ks like one would eat pooris for breakfast.
They used to have a routine - showing up at 6 AM like clockwork, feeling strong, feeling capable.
And now?
Now they're sitting across from me, explaining why they can't possibly start with bodyweight squats.
The Comeback That Never Comes
I've had this conversation hundreds of times. Someone reaches out after months (or years) away from the gym. Life happened - job stress, family crisis, injury, burnout. All legitimate reasons.
But here's what I notice: they don't want to talk about where they are now. They want to talk about where they used to be.
"I know this sounds crazy, but I used to bench my bodyweight."
"I don't know what happened. I used to love working out."
"I feel like such a failure. I used to be in the best shape of my life."
When I Suggest the "Wrong" Thing
So I do what seems logical and kind. I meet them where they are.
"Let's start with 10 minutes. Just bodyweight movements."
“Let’s just have you start with going on a walk daily.”
And I watch their face change.
Not relief. Not gratitude.
Resistance.
"Ten minutes? That's nothing. I used to work out for an hour."
"Bodyweight exercises? But I used to lift heavy."
"That seems too easy. Shouldn't I be pushing myself?"
The Ego That Sabotages the Comeback
Here's what I've learned: The same ego that once drove them to excellence is now the thing keeping them stuck.
They've internalised a story about who they "should" be, based on who they used to be. And in that story, starting small feels like admitting defeat.
It's not that they don't want to work out. It's that they can't reconcile their former fitness identity with doing "beginner" things.
So they wait. They wait until they feel ready for the "real" workout. The one that matches their self-image. The one that proves they're still that person.
Meanwhile, another week passes. Another month. Years.
Because doing nothing feels better than doing something that feels beneath them.
Making Success Feel Safe Again
But here's what I've discovered works:
I stop trying to convince them that small steps matter.
Instead, I reframe the entire conversation.
"This isn't about going backward. This is about building trust with your body again."
"Your body doesn't remember your PR from two years ago. It only knows what you did yesterday."
"We're not starting over. We're starting again. There's a difference."
And then I offer something so ridiculously small that their ego can't object:
"Just show up. Put on workout clothes. Stand in your living room for five minutes. Text me that you got ready to workout. That's it."
Not because I'm lowering the bar. Because I'm showing them where the real work begins - not with the perfect workout, but with the decision to move.
The Compound Effect of Tiny Comebacks
Something magical happens when people give themselves permission to start small.
Week 1: They put on workout clothes.
And no one stops there - they head out on a walk.
Week 2: They add some warming up and/or stretching.
Week 3: They're doing those bodyweight squats they initially resisted.
Week 4: They're texting me asking about adding weight.
Not because I pushed them.
Because they remembered something they'd forgotten: the feeling of momentum.
They remembered that fitness isn't about proving who you used to be. It's about becoming who you want to be, one small decision at a time.
And once they taste that again - that sense of moving forward instead of standing still.
They don't need me to motivate them anymore.
They motivate themselves.
The Real Truth About Comebacks
Your ego wants you to believe that anything less than your former glory is failure.
But your body - and your future self - just want you to start.
The gap between who you were and who you are isn't a canyon you need to leap across in a single bound.
It's a bridge you build, one small step at a time.
And the sooner you give yourself permission to take the first step - however small - the sooner you'll remember what your body is actually capable of.
Not what it used to do.
What it can still become.
What's the smallest step you could take today?
Not the perfect one. Just the next one.